Today

It's quiet tonight. I'm home alone again. I watched The Hours tonight, a movie I have not seen in quite awhile.

I met you for lunch today. We sat and talked in the cool mid-morning breeze, just after a rainstorm. You wouldn't take your sunglasses off. You wore a red shirt and ate nothing, only smoking cigarettes.

Could a summer of happiness make up for months of unhappiness, for this unhappiness? I asked myself that this evening, looking in the mirror. A pale figure looked back at me, blinked her eyes and answered, "yes" very plainly, as if she already knew the answer before I posed the question. She didn't hesitate. She never does.

Sometimes I wonder if I made you up.